The Death of A Brahmo.....
He was slouching on the couch as I entered the clustered room; it had some remains of the previous night & more of the yester years. He gave me a sheepish smile, but I could still see a flicker of life in his eyes, maybe as I was dressed in rouge, the color of his poems, of his rebel, of his music, of his drive, the one with which he could easily relate.
My heart still yearned for him as he looked a bit sleepy, his stubble grown chin & his disheveled hair, my perfect Adonis. His face was a bit perplexed though, as he was trying to understand the occasion of me loosening my hair rather than pinning them up in a cocoon.
He looked at me with a slight hunger (still have to figure out the reason) I guessed it was because of my appearance, the wear was concealing at the right places to make a man’s fantasy go feral coz I garbed me for a man today, an alien. Everything about this alien was familiar though.
I picked up the guitar & played Moby, he tugged me closer , I kissed him on his mouth, he tried to refrain he was a bit uncomfortable to kiss when unbrushed, but I liked it that way. .
He said “Come to me baby, everything will be just fine, I know you are a hippie at heart, I like you this way”. He tried to soothe the bruises on my face, I wondered his gentle touch still made me quiver the same way it used to when we bunked our classes to creep in the old library trying to compare Einstein to Descartes’ having chai & cheap cigarettes (I still wonder how it could be managed in the library) & he had this fetish to touch my chin every time.
He mustered words “We need to be practical at times (I have to understand this syntax - yet not that evolved), I am sorry, this can be worked out" (no harmony, all off beat). He broke down in tears now “The multi dimensions don’t permit peace, mockery is that I see, a dead end, grant me my savior, my healer, grant me tranquility.” The words carried voidness now, the face no more vibrant.
Applause. “We need a GodFree world, where we come over the PHOBIA God”
Applause. “ Freedom is not that I ask, its my right to soar, & so is yours, a NoNation, a NoEducation is thy world .”
Applause “I am the seed with all dimensions, me the creator, the destroyer, I am God” jhaaang….down goes another string of his guitar.
The man with me was no more that…I wiped his tears & took his head on my lap. Took the unfinished wine bottle & made the drink.
He looked at me gasping for breath “Desdimonia….” The socio-political comtemporary thoughts all chorussed "Desdimonia"... the resonnance of sound perfect...harmony
He was lying peacefully like a child, no fears, no dualities, the journey of Brahmo to the DOORS to Renaissance all lay in peace. Descartes’, Huxley, Hume were no more disputed. Karl Marx finally settled. A world never mattered whether it was GodFree. I kissed on his forehead, the turbulence had ended.
I had to leave now...
His clothes had to be folded, the gramaphone cleaned, the black dress to be ironed & made ready